Gay Hungary

Intro: Hungary is fast changing from a dim Soviet satellite to a free thinking-free enterprise nation of progress. Included in this shift are new laws protecting homosexuals. A week in the Budapest to see the gay sites, attend the international ILGA conference and talk with some LGBT folks provided some images and insights into the new ways of modern gay Hungary.

Also see:
Gay Hungary News & Reports 1999 to present
Hungary Photo Galleries

By Richard Ammon
November 2004
Updated March 2006

A Quick Sexy Intro

“How much?”
“ Sixty Euros ($75).”
“ Sixty! That’s very expensive. How much if I am Hungarian?”
“ Four thousand forints (20$), maybe three ($15).”
“ Why such a big difference?”
“ You are not from here.”
“ But you do the same things, for 60 euros or fifteen.”
“ Yes, but you have the money.”

So the market economy has come to the hustlers of Budapest. Peter is a twenty-something hustler on the banks of the Danube. His turf is a small patch of the zonar, a river front park next to the Marriott Hotel in the heart of the city. Known for years as a discreet cruising area for gay men, it’s now a sex market with prices arranged according to nationality.

Peter (not pictured) and half a dozen of his friends work this park late afternoons and evenings as dusk settles over the old town and the amber lights come on around the castle across the river. Set on a hill, the castle seems to float off the ground with it’s golden reflection in the rippling waters of the Danube.

“ Are you gay?,” I asked.
“ Bee-sex”
“ Bee-sex?”
“ Bee sexual”
“ Oh, bi-sexual. Yes. What do you in bed?”
“ Suck, fuck—what you like?”
“ Do you get fucked?”
“ If you want.”
“ That’s very risky. With condom of course.”
“ Yes, of course. I get checked every month.”

This was not one of the more enlightened conversations I’ve had this month. But since I didn’t yet know any other LGBT people in Budapest I wanted to see how far this conversation would go.

Despite his handsome appearance Peter wore braces on his teeth but I didn’t say anything about kissing or scratches while engaged in his work (!). He seemed relaxed, although watchful, and readily answered my questions. He ‘worked’ two or three times a week. The price was negotiable. He always went to the customer’s hotel or, if a Hungarian john with no hotel, they went to Magnum, the gay sauna in Budapest, where they could find a private cubicle (which added $18—admission for two-- to the customer’s price).

“So you want to go--have sex?”

At this point in our erotic pas de deux reality resurfaced. He wanted to get on with business or not. He was willing to small talk for only so long and he was not here for the evening air.

“ I’m too old for you.”
“ It’s no matter. We can go?”
“ I am old enough to be your father,” I said, “and I have never paid for sex.”

With that, he said “OK, bye,” and turned away to scout someone else. But the evening was cool and damp so the park was not brimming with choices. Mostly there were straight couples wandering up and down the promenade enjoying the view of luminous buildings across the river. So began my discovery of gay Budapest.


The Scene in Budapest

The gay scene in Budapest is modest, smaller than one might expect in a city of almost two million. There are a handful of bars and discos that seem to satisfy the needs of LGBT folks; there’s one dedicated activist group called Hatter Society; and no location for a LGBT Center offering services in the city. There are two magazines: 'Masok' is the major one with seventy pages of entertainment listings, TV and film reviews, news reports, interviews, feature stories on people or issues, venue ads and personals. 'At Last' is a smaller magazine with ads and scene happenings.

As well, there are various social clubs and organizations with different purposes such as sports, socializing and friendship. The Flamingo Klub serves young gays and lesbians; Pocok 'Hamster' Klub is popular and there are lesbian social evenings at Labrisz. (Labrisz also does some advocacy work.) A pro-gay legal NGO association is Habeas Corpus that assists with free advice and representation in cases involving women's and sexual minority rights as well as cases of sexual or physical abuse of adults and children. 'Five Loaves of Bread' is a LGBT Christian group formed in 1996, and was state registered as an NGO in 2004.

Budapest Gay Guide lists a chapter of the Asian Long Yang Club in Budapest. There are outdoor sporting groups for hiking (Vandor Masok), cycling and hiking (Hegyen-volgyon), another cycling group (Ket kereken biciklitura) and a third cycling group (Mozdulj ki).A multi-sports web site, Atlaszsport, lists the city's LGBT sports events, including my favorite swimming.

As usual there are numerous shadowy areas, such as the zonar near the Marriott, at some of the baths and swimming pools, certain parks, and of course the wide open cruising fields of the Internet. (Curiously, a substantial amount of gay male porno photography being offered on the Internet comes from eastern Europe especially Hungary, in disproportion to the actual scene in Hungary. One viewer observed that many of the models were straight guys posing for the money.) But for the most part, LGBT Budapest folks are not visible and not out. There is no gay ‘look’ and no gay ghetto.


Gay Budapest: Hatter Society

On a rainy afternoon in central Budapest I visited the office of Hatter Support Society to talk with Bence Solymar an articulate, dedicated leader of Hatter with an excellent command of English. The office was stacked with bookcases, files, boxes of brochures and Hatter publications, computer desks and a large round table in the middle encircling a vase of yellow flowers. On the floor were cartons of literature and paperwork left over from the recent ILGA (international Lesbian and Gay Association) meeting which Hatter hosted in late October in Budapest. The office was a hive of activity for the various programs runs, from its telephone hotline to political interfacing with high ranking government ministers.

Hatter Society works out of their rented two room flat without a sign outside. There is one paid staff member, the office manager for six hours a day; all the others are volunteers.

Hatter was started in 1995 following the demise of socialism in Hungary. Given Hungary’s awareness of and relative proximity to such gay hotspots as Berlin, Vienna, Zurich and Amsterdam, it didn’t take long for the queer east to raise its voice against three generations of repression and organize for some basic rights and equality. "Non-governmental organizations were not permitted in Hungary before the changing of the political system," said Bence. But homophobia did not disappear with the fall of communism: "Even as late as 1996 I heard about such things--gay men cruising in parks were caught and registered by the police, which is against human rights standards."

More recently, Bence reported cases of LGBT youth being thrown out of their families, others bashed or, as happened to Bence and Laszlo (one of the founders of Hatter): Laszlo ( a grown man in his fifties, was verbally abused by off-duty police when they misunderstood Laszlo's meeting with Bence (who is younger).

Of great importance is Hatter's work of receiving the troubles of the newly gay or troubled youth and offering solace on their phone hotline. Volunteers are trained to offer sympathy as well as referrals to support groups, LGBT clubs and helping agencies. If necessary they offer free legal aid to victims of discrimination through Hatter's Gay Legal Aid services.

Homophobia in Hungary is not significantly less or more than in most eastern European countries where there was little respect for human rights during most of the 20th century. Generally, anti-gay feelings here are not as politically powerful as in Warsaw, Poland where conservatives managed to get the Pride 04 parade cancelled. Nor is it as dangerous as in Serbian where mobs of skinheads and neo-Nazi types violently assaulted gays (and police) during their Pride festival in Belgrade in 2002.

One of Hatter’s most important challenges is running an information and educational program to inform LGBT citizens of their basic human rights that exist in Hungarian law. The vast majority of queer Hungarians are not aware of these and do not report incidents of discrimination. (See Digression below for more about this issue.)

Homophobia raised its ugly head last year when conservative groups, egged on by right wing agitators, began organizing protest rallies against the Pride Festival in June ’03. However, as a small measure of how things are changing here, the police were alerted and the new police chief saw to it that the marchers were well protected with a strong show of police force.

This display of official protection represents the new generation of thinking that’s emerging now in Hungary. Prior to and since joining the EU (May ‘04), Hungary has produced anti-discrimination legislation as part of its overhaul of human rights statutes. Hungary does recognize domestic partnerships but the rights ascribed to them are very few such as the right to inquire about a partner’s medical care. But there are no specific anti-discriminatory policies per se that include sexual orientation as a protected status.

The next step, said Bence, is to have partnerships that are legally registered so a couple does not have to prove their alliance each time proof is required. This way they have a document that states their bond. "Of course, equal possibility of same-sex partners to marry is a thing we would like to achieve."

A recent fortunate turn of events was the appointment of a Minister for Equality in Hungary, Kinga Goncz, the daughter of the former President of Hungary. Madame Goncz, a respected woman with influence, attended the October ‘04 ILGA meeting in Budapest and announced an official proposal to establish domestic partnership registration for unmarried couples. Her announcement made the news headlines. Such legislation is highly desirable for LGB couples but it is also important for the large Roma (gypsy) population in Hungary who commonly do not officially marry their partners.

The other significant challenges for Hatter are HIV/AIDS prevention and education programs. Their outreach work is supported by the government health ministry and Hatter has succeeded in having condom machines installed in the restrooms of the gay bars and clubs. Their HIV prevention work is also supported by The Medical College of Wisconsin in Milwaukee in the USA.


Digression: Eastern European Gay Life

There are numerous eastern European countries which have sprouted LGBT organizations for political and social purposes .Although daring, these seem less influential than their western European counterparts.

Much of that difference has to do with money. Even volunteer organizations require money for office space, advertising, equipment, publications and postage. Eastern Europe is a much poorer sibling to the West. Salaries in Hungary for example are a third to a fourth of what they are in Germany.

One glaring example of this can be seen in the large, well lighted, colorful and visible Man-o-Meter LGBT Center in Berlin (adjacent to the huge Bruno LGBT department store). Mann-o-Meter sponsors dozens of meetings, seminars, educational outreach programs, social events, support groups, legal and medical referrals as well as providing hundreds of free brochures, pamphlets, flyers and magazines with endless listings of LGBT services and events.

Budapest has no gay center, only a dream of one in the minds of activists. Most LGBT Hungarians don’t think much about having such a visible and public center, preferring instead to organize for social and sport activities, if at all.

As for fundraising, Bence said,"we have several rounds of project writing and applications to the EU. We have also asked overseas funders that work in this region but have not succeeded. So we keep trying. As for raising community funds from people in Hungary that is not at all easy. We can't just go and tell (gay) people how wonderful their lives will be if they give us a certain amount of their salaries for this purpose. Private donations sometimes do come but most people think their 1% tax donation should be sufficient."

This mention of 1% refers to a voluntary income tax donation of 1% that people can designate to a particular charity or a registered organization. It is donated through the government (who have no say in a person's choice) and provides Hatter with some funds but not enough to meet its expenses. Bence thinks that this tax donation is considered enough by most people including LGBT supporters who do not give any more money to help Hatter or to help create a LGBT Center.

A second reason for the weaker eastern Europe activist organizations has to do with individual ‘potency’. Bence’s “existential insecurity” also touches on the matter of personal confidence that one voice can be heard and can make a difference against discrimination.

With the advent of the EU in eastern Europe (in May 2004 that included Hungary and eight other countries) new laws and charters regarding politics, economics and human rights have arrived as well. Clearly the dominant thrust has been for stronger economic stability in the EU, but for the LGBT population the humanitarian arm of the EU has opened a welcomed opportunity for gay rights and expression.

"The European Council in Lisbon (1999) realized there must be funds for 'social inclusion' because if certain social groups (gypsies, migrants, etc.) continue to be marginalized there will be no basic work force to maintain this huge EU, and there will be a reduced market if people can't get work," said Bence. So it's the Council of Europe that promotes human rights for the sake of human rights, but still in the service of economic assurance.

As much as this windfall has created a fertile field for activism, to be productive a field must be plowed, seeded and fertilized if it is to nurture the needs of people. The EU declarations and standards are well intended but the great challenge is to communicate these rights to populations that are generally unaware of them; respect for individuals and their personal rights was not one of communism’s better virtues.

Anti-discrimination has become an important issue in the abstract, but getting the local precinct police chief (beyond Budapest) to train his troops about their duty to seriously respect complaints by gay people is quite another. A crucial aspect of human rights is enforcing these rights. Police training and awareness and respect for gay rights, taking complaints seriously and apprehending perpetrators, is vital at the local level if change is to come about. "We do not yet have an education project with the police. But we work to bring about change in the everyday street as well as in the legislation;" Bence declared.

Throughout all of Europe—eat and west--the results on this have varied greatly. In Sweden, for example, a church minister was given jail time for his caustic criticism of gays when offended individuals took the cleric to court. But in Hungary, the Catholic church and the reformed church (Lutheran and Calvinists) have been accustomed to quasi-official state sanction, even through the communist years (as long as they kept their noses out of politics). Although less respected and attended now, the church institutions still retain symbolic power and the idea of a homophobic priest or minister being taken to court for his homophobia is unthinkable here—at this time. Openly LGBT applicants for ministry or priesthood studies are rejected and queer students already in their programs are expelled.

Case law in eastern Europe--actual tried court cases--regarding sexual orientation discrimination is rare, so far. Victims usually can't afford the legal fees or the time away from (often low paying ) work to pursue judicial recourse if they are attacked or slandered or ejected from a flat or a job. Fortunately, Hester and Habeas Corpus Association do provide some funds for legal recourse--if a person is brave enough to pursue legal action.

A ground-breaking case in Hungary occurred in 2004 when a student was dismissed from a church-owned university in Budapest because he was gay. His father took the university to court and won, but not on principle of fairness and equality but rather on a legal technicality. It was a win but not really a victory for gay rights. The student was readmitted but declined to continue at that university instead chose to go to another (church) school in Czech Republic.

But most of the time, at the individual level, anti-discriminatory offences go unreported because there persists a strong sense that it won’t be taken seriously by the authorities. Bence observed that an “existential insecurity” exists among Hungarian gays that keeps them from coordinating a more focused community and demanding their rights. As well, few have the financial resources (an average salary is often about $400 a month) to pay for lawyers’ fees nor do they want to risk the inevitable publicity that might put his or her job in jeopardy or risk family rejection as well.

A second significant case is now (November '04) working its way through the legal system. Hatter decided to challenge the anti-gay discrimination policies of this same Reformed University because it forbids homosexuals from being admitted or becoming teachers or researchers--as opposed to becoming ministers over which a religious institution has the right to discriminate. Hatter recognizes this but has sued to have the wider application of these policies declared unconstitutional and against European Council regulations. After a first court ruling in favor of the university Hatter is now taking it to the appeals level for consideration. Bence is not optimistic about this outcome but says it's important to pursue the anti-human rights issue and make university and legal institutions more aware and accountable for such blatant discrimination. It's possible the case could be taken all the way to the the European Court of Justice in the Hague.


Water Babes

Budapest is famous for its many watering holes where people take off their clothes to reveal their various corporeal shapes and sink into thermal baths. There are about a dozen Turkish baths with blue pools that have been an integral part of Budapest for 400 years thanks to the Ottoman Turks and to the naturally occurring hot springs underneath Budapest. As a result there is no dearth of places for a gay person to cruise, overtly or covertly, in this huge city.

But only one of the bathhouses, Kiraly, is conspicuously gay on men’s days (Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays).

Kiraly (left and below) has a dark domed roof with little porthole windows. On my visit the place was busy with several dozen naked overweight, overage and overlooked inert men pretending to be lounging and relaxed. Some of them soaked in the main thermal pool, others waddled naked around the pool deck on their way to the steam room or the two sauna rooms or the shower rooms.

Among the heavyweights there was a light seasoning of leaner younger guys who pretended not to notice the gleaming eyes that followed them like frogs in a pond at night. Although it was obvious that virtually everyone here was gay, the action was mostly fantasizing and unrequited cruising.

A lucky few--I saw two--dyads who had made brief contact and with no secret place to hide were engaged in brief sexy action in front of others. Reactions to these trysts ranged from indifference to voyeuristic enjoyment but here was no domino effect that encouraged others to join in or start their own groping. Most bystanders looked or passed by.

Why didn't they join in? Perhaps voyeurism was enough. Perhaps it was all that declining beauty could expect. The gray heads and fatsos seemed resigned to watching and wishing, too seasoned to risk rejection--again. It seemed the point of getting naked and wet in Kiraly was soaking and browsing, without expecting anything. I think few were really there for the therapeutic value of the ‘waters’.

(On my way out I wondered if Kiraly is lesbian on the alternate days. Bence later wrote and said, "there's a relaxed mix of lesbian, Bi and straight women on those days.")

Elegance in Water: Gellert Baths

The next day I went to the famous Gellert Baths (photo below), part of the grand and elegant Gellert Hotel on the Danube. It’s one of the classier hotel/baths in the city. The entrance to the baths is a great arched art deco portal with statuary gracing the front. It cost about $14 to get in (with rebates if you stay less than two or three hours). Inside, a great arched foyer greets you with classical white stone female nudes surrounded by tiled walls.

Men and women have separate sections and separate pools. The women have a single pool surrounded by baroque decorations and neoclassic columns along the walls and decks. The men have two smaller pools each with water temperatures at different degrees. The walls and ceiling are also tiled in dark blue punctuated with larger relief tiles that seem to have a scarab motif to them. During the summer months Gellert has a beautiful enormous outdoor pool for both genders.

The energy of the place was congenial. Most men were with one of two friends so there was the sound of voices echoing from the high arched ceiling. Off to one side was a very hot very steam room that was hard to be in for more than a few minutes as the dense hot wet air made it difficult to breath.

Nothing too suspicious happens at Gellert. If anything, two guys might make eye contact and arrange something afterwards. For the most part the ambience was relaxed, sociable and without the edgy eroticism that often pervades the air in a gay setting. As a gay man, I felt a sense of relief that I didn’t have to be ‘on’, although body comparing was inevitable—by both straights and gays. Who looks longer? About the same I’d say.

Sczechenyi Baths

My third bathhouse visit, via the efficient subway system, was across town to the Sczechenyi baths in the middle of a city park. Sczechenyi appears as if it were built for a kaiser or king—huge, ornate, palatial, with at least half a dozen pools. The largest was about 50 meter long with two large half-round pools about 20m across on either end. The entry hall is domed and regal, with a water fountain of carved mythological half-fish-half-human bodies. A baby is held high by male a figure as the water comes out the baby’s penis. It feels as if you are entering a museum or a sculpture garden.

Like most patrons in Turkish baths the people here were of indolent intent, wading or sitting (some playing chess on plastic boards) or bobbing like herds of lazy seals waiting for the next feeding. A few swam slow laps. It was definitely not a place for serious athletes. There were men and women together, everyone in swimsuits. It looked like a scene from a Fellini film about la dolce vita in ancient Rome.

Swimming Pools

Also spread across the city are dozens of swimming pools in pool complexes that offer twelve to fifteen hours a day of water sports, mainly swimming, water polo and water aerobics. Hungary dominates water polo in Europe; this preeminence is built on a nationwide age-group swim programs that starts training kids about the age of ten and goes up to masters (over 25) and beyond.

From early morning to late night thousands of Bucharesti tote their swim caps, Speedos and kick boards to their favorite or neighborhood pool, some escorted by polo moms and others old enough to know what they are doing in the showers.

One such venue is the Csaszar-Komjadi pool complex that offers two fifty meter pools--one indoor, one outdoor--plus a covered twenty-five meter pool and two smaller child pools (That’s five in this one complex alone and there are numerous other complexes across the city.). This is one of the pools that the LGBT sports group Atlasz uses for their club trainings several times a week.

Immediately adjacent to the outdoor pool is the Csaszar Hotel (left) which I chose because of the pool. I like a workout before breakfast. This hotel felt as if it were on a seacoast, given the enormous size of the pool. The public has access from 6 Am to 6 PM, then the place is taken over by several water polo teams. (For those of us who exercise regularly travel is a serious disruption, so it was a great delight to have a huge pool within meters of my room.)


Life Beyond the Waters

Lest a reader think I spent all my time in bathhouses and swimming pools, I did attend a performance at the lushly baroque Hungarian State Opera House for a production of Wagner’s Tannhauser. The mythical plot focuses on a man’s redemption from carnal love to a higher form of ‘spiritual’ love. The hero is saved by the sacrificial death of his former girlfriend. The story is rather puritanical and overwrought but the soloists and choral music were excellent. That is, when the score wasn’t stagnant. As George Bernard Shaw once commented, “Wagner has some wonderful moments but some terrible half hours!”

Blended into the audience I observed a few ‘gentleman couples’ mostly in their fifties and sixties, well dressed in coats and ties. (It was harder for me to spot lesbian couples since there were quite a few women with one or two other women in attendance and none of them had the ‘look’.) The vast majority in attendance were heterosexual couples. A ticket in the orchestra seats cost about $25, a hefty amount in Hungarian money so it was no surprise that I didn’t see any young male couples that night.

There is a joke about older gay Hungarians, that once they are over thirty-five they disappear. Of course they don’t dissolve or suddenly stop going to the fountains of youth. But like other gay and lesbian singles and couples in any large city and culture, as they ‘mature’ their lives focus more on friendship circles and other entertainments such as the opera or other concerts of which Budapest has no shortage.

On any one night there are numerous performances at various halls throughout the city. One evening I went a concert performance featuring the Rachmaninoff third piano concerto. I sat immediately behind a young male couple who gently leaned against one another as they listened.

Another evening I went to hear an church organ concert of music by Franz Liszt, the 19th century giant who towers over Hungarian music. As usual for Liszt the music was powerful, intricate, voluminous and left the church and the audience resonating from the final crescendo hurricane. Liszt's home is now a museum, indeed it's a shrine for many students who come to Budapest to study at the Lizst Academy of Music.

Scene Around Town

The center of Budapest offers a number of gay and mixed hotspots that provide weekend diversions ranging from drag shows to male strip shows to karaoke to dark rooms.

Before I mention the active places there are some behind-the-scene gay venues that are not visible from the street. These are several gay-owned guest apartments as well as gay guest houses and private rooms (shared apartments with the gay host) spread around different districts of Budapest. They have been neatly organized by Jean-Jacques Soukup, owner of the comprehensive web site Gay Guide Budapest. Reservations can be made through Jean for any of the B&Bs.

He also offers complete listings of Budapest LBGT places to see and things to do. (See also www.gaystay.net to see all his accommodations, including Prague, Warsaw, Krakow and Sofia.) Two of his B&B hosts, Luc and Csaba (a couple), described to me over lunch in the (gay friendly) Voyage Cafe how much work it takes to run their guesthouse. They can accommodate up to nine people but usually they have four to six guests.

Action bar is located in a catacomb basement (right). It's a small cramped place with red painted barrel-vaulted ceilings and walls.The main draw is the sinewy straight dancers who take it all off for the titillated gay audience. (The pay is good.) When the show is over the restless and horny drift to the darker corners, dark rooms, in the back hoping to get lucky relief before heading home.

At Magnum sauna “fitness club” (so the sign says outside), the action is sex without the dancers or drinks. It’s Budapest’s only gay sauna. The place is not large overall. It has one steam room and one sauna room. There’s a ‘red’ lounge with tables and chairs focused toward the TV (screening old movies such as a dubbed version of Anthony and Cleopatra-sans Liz and Dick).

A small check-in entry area (with cold drinks) led to the one locker room; patrons get a towel with a pocket sewn on it, a locker key and a condom called ’Euroglider’. The rest of the club is taken up with cubicle rooms, a porno video room and a cave-like dark room with curtained off sections. The steam room was the most active spot. Behind closed cubicle doors it was mostly twosomes. The age range was from late sixties—big bellied men with gray hair—to nubile twinks with 29 inch waists. The usual mix on a Saturday night.

Cafe Capella is on three floors that form around a stage for cabaret drag shows. The audience is mostly non-gay according to Robbie, one of the managers. The mixed audience loves the performances that happen from Thursday to Saturday (it’s closed the rest of the week). Bobbie and his boyfriend both work in Capella to keep the liquor flowing the music loud and the drag queens in sparkling fashions. They work twelve to fifteen hours a day serving customers and keeping the place looking trendy and appealing to the ever-fickle night crawlers. Nearby, a few doors away is Limo Café that has just received a whole new look to keep the gay and straight crowds coming.

Angyal (Angel) bar/club is the oldest venue but it has the most anonymous entry of any of the several gay bars in Budapest—no sign whatsoever on the outside. I arrived about 11 PM to catch the end of ‘Shrek’ the popular animated film being screened. This was followed by a karaoke session of off-key locals trying to stay in time with the words and music. At midnight the drag show started and the downstairs disco floor opened.

Angyal looks more like a cabaret club than a bar. A dozen little café tables are set before a stage at one end of the long black room. On the ceiling silvery air ducts slither across the room like a spider emerging from its lair. It seems everyone knows everyone else and the place feels like a local pub rather than a big city gay bar. It’s the only gay place open all week.

The audience was virtually all under thirty, except for the co-manager at the ticket booth who was in his fifties—all of Budapest’s queer nightspots have cover charges of $5-6. It’s a hefty fee for these people who generally earn $300-500 a month but since few of them own cars and most of them live with their families they can afford some nice clothes and a few nights out with a couple of beers—and cigarettes of course.

It’s not wholly accurate but it’s generally true that the majority of these youthful queers are not out to their families. Their lives focus around their jobs--if they have one--family matters, and friends. Some go to the university or trade school or music academy. Some participate on a local water polo team or soccer team. But they save their secrets about sexuality until after 10 PM on the weekends. The basic accoutrements for a night out, I observed, appear to be a mobile phone, cigarettes, chap stick and gelled hair.

The Chaos Music Pub & CoXx Club "is a combined internet café, bar, plus a backroom and org anises regular leather and fetish parties," according to Gay Guide Budapest. (I didn't go there but it is popular.)

Alibi Club Bohemian

My last night in Budapest was crowned by a visit to one of the premier gay-mixed clubs, the Alibi Club Bohemian. It’s located in a huge cellar with barrel vaulted ceilings in the several chambers (six I think) that serve as dance floors, a cabaret theatre for drag shows, a restaurant and bar rooms.

The eclectic and kitschy decorations are the extension of the benevolent ego of the owner, Dr Bill C Nelson, a brilliant, flamboyant, creative and unpredictable tour de force, one-man circus entertainer-entrepreneur. With a background in quantum physics, mathematics, holistic medicine and comparative religion he also participated in the rescue of Apollo 13. He is an American from Ohio the author of numerous books and scientific articles, is a film director and actor, a father of two grown children—and in Hungary he in known as Desiree the transvestite owner of Alibi. It’s quite a bio and it’s all there in the menu in his restaurant.

But for the hundreds of young people crowded into the place—still arriving at 2 AM Saturday—it didn’t matter who owned the joint. They were there to have a good time, most of them with friends or a partner, straight, gay or lesbian.

A good time meant having some drinks, smoking, dancing, kissing or squeezing their buddies’ body parts, watching the drag shows at midnight or two AM, eating a meal from the wide selection on the menu and people watching. I doubt there were any hard drugs since they are too expensive. Beer and cigarettes were culturally cool, hard stuff was not. I didn’t smell any pot either.

Crowding around the theatre for the drag show, I watched as lesbian couples, gay couples and straight couple stood shoulder to shoulder with the ease of a big family gathering, Perhaps because of my many closeted pre-Stonewall years and the persistent high level of American homophobia, I am repeatedly touched, thrilled, inspired, amazed, even aroused (mentally) when I see this kind of gay-straight mix.

Waiting for the drag show to start, I stood next to a hetero couple kissing lightly; on my left two guys pressing lips; a few feet from them two lesbians fondly stroking each other’s faces.

A balanced collage, a fine model for the outside world I thought. No one was threatened—all were embraced. Owner Bill opened his club for just such purposes, to show that all forms of love and sexuality could blend. I’d say he had created a success here in this ‘Bohemia’.

Hopefully, here was the future of gay Hungary.